Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.