Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
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Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.