Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...