ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
