that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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