If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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