just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
