Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
