My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
