On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
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Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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