How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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