You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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