i don't like sucking hair
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
