ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i out mim tonsoeep
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