i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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