Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
