No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
