I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
