Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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