I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
