508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
