it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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