i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
