oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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