btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
