Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
