I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
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He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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