saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
