Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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