i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
