you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
