she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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