my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
