For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
