i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
