He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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