After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
