Soap is not a condiment
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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