This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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