I'm eating all of the evidence.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize