At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
