Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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