her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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