i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
