You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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