i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
