My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
