I hate your face
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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