haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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