No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
