I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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