idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
