Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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