I wanna bring you to show and tell
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
