last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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