Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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