i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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