are you still at the devil's house?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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