we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I got inside last night via doggy door
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
