Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
