Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
