is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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