Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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