Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
